Thursday, June 25, 2009


After the weight loss surgery and attaining my ideal weight for the first time ever, my husband and I assumed that we would finally be able to get pregnant. Afterall there was a new healthy me and that was what the doctors assured us was the reason we were not successful in getting pregnant. I decided we would just wait, maybe it wasn't in God's timing yet. After a couple of years we began talking about adoption. We received a lot of information from different agencies and started filling out the paperwork. It was a daunting task and I could not help but feel like we were buying a child. Through much prayer and thought my husband and I decided to give it one more chance. I did some research online for a good fertility clinic. I settled on Dr. William Gentry of Advanced Fertility in Indianapolis, Indiana. On the first visit we discussed my weight loss surgery and the different treatments that my husband and I had done in the past. He set up an appointment for a dye test to make sure I did not have any blockage.
A few weeks later as I lay on the table having the test the Dr. asked me if I had had a recent miscarriage. I quickly answered, no, I have never been pregnant. He looked at his assistant and said, "It looks like she had a failed pregnancy last month." My mind was racing. Had I really been pregnant and didn't know it? We left the hospital and both myself and my husband could not believe that we had lost a child, our child. Even though we didn't know it existed it was a terrible loss to us.
The next month I returned to Dr. Gentry's office to hear the full results. Everything was a go, I would be receiving a full packet in the mail within a week dictating my medication schedule and the different ultasounds and procedures that we would be doing. I told the doctor that I did not want to waste a lot of time and money on treatments that were not going to work. He reassured me and we decided on a series of oral medications along with injections that I would do in my stomache and a final injection that would be taken in my lower back.
The next month we were scheduled to be on vacation in Gulf Shores during the beginning of my period. Because I had to get a base line blood test between day one and day three of my cycle we decided to wait one more month.
October came and my period started. I called the office and set up my appoint for the blood draw. It just so happened to be on October 11, 2007, my sisters birthday. My sister worked not far from the dr.s office so I met her and my mom for a birthday breakfast. I remember us talking about the possibility of actually getting pregnant. I thought it would never happen. Upon returning home we got a devistating phone call. My 19 year old cousin had been killed in a car accident. We went to the families side immediately. Our family had always been very close and this was a terrible tragedy for all.
All of a sudden having a child did not seem so important. We had already orded the shots, which were very expensive and felt that we should go ahead with the treatment even though our hearts really were not in it. I do remember taking my other cousins out and having to run home to take one of my shots. Also when it came to the last shot in the butt we were at my Aunt's house gathered to both celebrate and mourn my cousin Sean, right in the middle of the dining room I dropped my pants a little and my mom administered the shot. It was finished. I had done all that I could not it was all up to God.
The next day I went into the dr.s office for an ultrasound to see how many eggs were ready for fertilization. As the ultrasound tech inserted the wand we could clearly see there were 5 eggs. As she began to measure them 4 of the eggs were the right size and ready to be fertilized, 1 of the eggs was too small. They scheduled our IUI or intrauterine insemination for that Monday which was two days away.
When we arrive at the office it was 7am. They called my husband back to make his deposit. He was a little embarrased because he was the only man in the waiting room. Shortly after his return they called both of us back. They had put his sperm through a machine that somehow disguard all the ones that are not prime candidates. A nurse came in with a syringe and a long tube. I laid on a table and she inserted the tub into my cervix. She pulled the trigger and they were off. There was a timer on the cabinet and when the sperm on the timer reached the egg on the timer it was time to get up get dressed and go. It was all over and now in God's hands.
I remember leaving the office very optimistic.
So this occured on day 14 of my cycle. We could not wait until the first day of my missed period so... we bought one of those early detection pregnancy tests. On day 24 which was a Thursday we went to the store and purchased a double pack of pregnancy tests. Now I do remember this day vividly because when we left the store we had to call my cousin Brad because Chris, my husband had locked the keys in the car and we were stranded. Brad took us home and I went stright in and took the test. Meanwhile, Chris and Brad were outside chatting about Brad's car. Brad had no idea that we were waiting to see if we were parents. Still outside when I looked at the test, I could not believe my eyes. I had taken what seemed like hundreds of these tests before and I had never seen two pink lines appear. POSITIVE.
In a bit of a daze I walked to the backdoor of our home, with the test in hand, and asked my husband to come in. He and my cousin were taking about something car engine related and I handed him the test. He took one look and the test and went right back to my cousin and the engine. Brad, my cousin, then looked at me with a huge smile. He knew what it meant. I then turned to my husband and asked him to take another look. To this day I have no idea what he was thinking when he saw the test and just ignored it.

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